A Storied Education, Sort Of

Definitely Not Barker College is a coeducational, Anglican, day-and-boarding school of considerable pedigree and modest self-restraint, occupying a forty-four hectare campus in suburban Hornsby on Sydney's North Shore — twenty-five kilometres from the GPO, four minutes from a Westfield, and one pedestrian crossing from the Pacific Highway.

The school was founded in 1890 by a clergyman of strong opinions and uneven enthusiasm, in a guest house in Kurrajong Heights, with five boys, two pieces of chalk, and a number of long-term ambitions that were, in retrospect, ambitious.

Following an outbreak of scarlet fever in 1894, the founder concluded — in writing, and at length — that the Blue Mountains were not, after all, a suitable site for a school. In 1896 the College was relocated to its current site in Hornsby, where it has remained ever since, expanding outward by increments of one paddock and one capital campaign at a time.

The Campus

The Hornsby site comprises approximately forty-four hectares, six sporting fields, eleven tennis courts, three drama theatres of varying acoustic ambition, and one (1) chapel of fixed acoustic ambition. The Avenue, recently absorbed from Hornsby Shire Council, runs through the campus and is designated for pedestrian use, prep traffic, and the polite conveyance of small children to the Junior School.

The College is bordered to its west by the Pacific Highway, to its north by the Hornsby–Berowra rail corridor, to its east by a row of houses whose owners have, over the years, been very gracious about the bell schedule, and to its south by a sandstone embankment that no one has properly surveyed since 1958.

Our Mission

To deliver an exceptional academic and co-curricular programme; to nurture the spiritual, ethical, and moderate financial wellbeing of every student; and, where possible, to ensure that the chapel finishes before the lunch bell.

Our Values

• Character. Inculcated daily, audited annually.
• Scholarship. Pursued vigorously and, where convenient, sincerely.
• Service. Logged for the purposes of references.
• Stewardship. Of the school grounds, the school crest, and one's locker.
• Vibes. Permitted on Fridays and during sport.

House System

The Senior School is divided into sixteen houses, named after assorted figures of historical interest, half of them men and half of them women, in line with the school's transition to coeducation in the late 2010s. Each house is led by a Head of House and approximately two Year 12 prefects, of whom one is reliably present at carnivals.

The Junior School operates a smaller system of six houses, named, to general approval, after explorers. Tasman currently leads in house points; this is, the school suggests, a coincidence.

Sport

The College is a member school of the Combined Associated Schools competition (CAS). The First XV rugby fixture against the eastern suburbs schools is, by long tradition, played in approximately the sixth week of Term 2, in front of a crowd that contains a full statistical sample of every kind of parent.

Heritage

The school song was composed in 1907, revised in 1962 to remove a reference to the British Empire, and revised again in 2018 to remove a verse about cricket that no one could remember the meaning of. The motto remains in Latin and, the school confirms, will continue to remain in Latin.

War Memorials

The College maintains six war memorials across its grounds: War Memorial Oval (the No. 1 Oval), the Mothers' Memorial Pavilion (the Grandstand), the WW1 Pylons, the WW2 Steps, the War Memorial Chapel, and the memorial in the Junior School. Each is observed during Anzac Day services.

A seventh memorial, a captured German machine gun unveiled in 1921 and set on a stone plinth near the front lawn, was repossessed by the Australian Government during the 1940s and never returned. The plinth remains. The full account is set out in the relevant Bulletin piece.

Employment

The school does not currently have any vacancies. The school will not have any vacancies. Inquiries regarding employment should be directed to the staff inbox, where they will be appreciated and not acted upon.

For the boring (real) version of any of the above, see the legal page.