Term 2 reminder: house ties are mandatory; house morale is optional. The chapel organ has been retuned. Someone left a banana on the keyboard. Pacific Highway pedestrian crossing reverts to normal operation after Tuesday's incident. Cadet bivouac relocated to Bowman Field pending Hornsby Shire clarification. Senior Study Hub kettle: operational. Senior Study Hub kettle queue: not. Westfield lunch-run permits revoked for Year 9 until further notice. Reminder: assessment submissions in MP3 format are now strongly recommended. iCentral confirms last Tuesday's Flexischools outage has been resolved. Mufti Day raised $4,217 for the Year 7 Pastoral Care Vending Machine. Reminder: e-scooters are not permitted in the chapel, even briefly. The First XV defeated themselves in a closed-doors trial. Coach "pleased". Boarders kindly requested to stop forming their own micro-economies. The kookaburra on the front lawn has been issued a Year 12 leadership badge. The plinth on the front lawn is the site of the seventh memorial. BREAKING: Year 9 cohort discovers Year 9 cohort. A reminder that the Avenue is for pedestrian use, not for trading futures. Celebration of Learning concluded at 8:47pm. The Headmaster has notes. Year 11 Avenue trading incident now under quiet review. iCentral reminds students: closing your laptop is not, on its own, a backup. Parking lots are for decoration only. Use will lead to collapse of infrastructure. The Borker Red Bin Association would like to remind students that the red bins around the school are strictly staff only. Any student use is grounds for expulsion. Canteen prices for the large special have risen by 70 cents in the past 3 years. Student Driving Code of Conduct now in effect. Permission forms available from Reception. See news for details. Term 2 reminder: house ties are mandatory; house morale is optional. The chapel organ has been retuned. Someone left a banana on the keyboard. Pacific Highway pedestrian crossing reverts to normal operation after Tuesday's incident. Cadet bivouac relocated to Bowman Field pending Hornsby Shire clarification. Senior Study Hub kettle: operational. Senior Study Hub kettle queue: not. Westfield lunch-run permits revoked for Year 9 until further notice. Reminder: assessment submissions in MP3 format are now strongly recommended. iCentral confirms last Tuesday's Flexischools outage has been resolved. Mufti Day raised $4,217 for the Year 7 Pastoral Care Vending Machine. Reminder: e-scooters are not permitted in the chapel, even briefly. The First XV defeated themselves in a closed-doors trial. Coach "pleased". Boarders kindly requested to stop forming their own micro-economies. The kookaburra on the front lawn has been issued a Year 12 leadership badge. The plinth on the front lawn is the site of the seventh memorial. BREAKING: Year 9 cohort discovers Year 9 cohort. A reminder that the Avenue is for pedestrian use, not for trading futures. Celebration of Learning concluded at 8:47pm. The Headmaster has notes. Year 11 Avenue trading incident now under quiet review. iCentral reminds students: closing your laptop is not, on its own, a backup. Parking lots are for decoration only. Use will lead to collapse of infrastructure. The Borker Red Bin Association would like to remind students that the red bins around the school are strictly staff only. Any student use is grounds for expulsion. Canteen prices for the large special have risen by 70 cents in the past 3 years. Student Driving Code of Conduct now in effect. Permission forms available from Reception. See news for details. Term 2 reminder: house ties are mandatory; house morale is optional. The chapel organ has been retuned. Someone left a banana on the keyboard. Pacific Highway pedestrian crossing reverts to normal operation after Tuesday's incident. Cadet bivouac relocated to Bowman Field pending Hornsby Shire clarification. Senior Study Hub kettle: operational. Senior Study Hub kettle queue: not. Westfield lunch-run permits revoked for Year 9 until further notice. Reminder: assessment submissions in MP3 format are now strongly recommended. iCentral confirms last Tuesday's Flexischools outage has been resolved. Mufti Day raised $4,217 for the Year 7 Pastoral Care Vending Machine. Reminder: e-scooters are not permitted in the chapel, even briefly. The First XV defeated themselves in a closed-doors trial. Coach "pleased". Boarders kindly requested to stop forming their own micro-economies. The kookaburra on the front lawn has been issued a Year 12 leadership badge. The plinth on the front lawn is the site of the seventh memorial. BREAKING: Year 9 cohort discovers Year 9 cohort. A reminder that the Avenue is for pedestrian use, not for trading futures. Celebration of Learning concluded at 8:47pm. The Headmaster has notes. Year 11 Avenue trading incident now under quiet review. iCentral reminds students: closing your laptop is not, on its own, a backup. Parking lots are for decoration only. Use will lead to collapse of infrastructure. The Borker Red Bin Association would like to remind students that the red bins around the school are strictly staff only. Any student use is grounds for expulsion. Canteen prices for the large special have risen by 70 cents in the past 3 years. Student Driving Code of Conduct now in effect. Permission forms available from Reception. See news for details.

Now live

market.sveltekit-prerender

A student-run prediction market for school-life events. Now in beta for students with verified student status. Simulated currency only — no real money, no real prizes, no actual gambling. Not affiliated with the school.

Visit the platform Simulated currency only No real money

Preview — sample markets

Selected listings

Will the Celebration of Learning conclude before 8:30pm?

YES18¢
NO82¢
Volume: 18,420 BB Preview only

Will the German machine gun be returned to the front lawn plinth before 2030?

YES
NO96¢
Volume: 87,340 BB Preview only

Will the Senior Study Hub kettle be functional throughout Week 6?

YES41¢
NO59¢
Volume: 9,112 BB Preview only

Will Flexischools experience an outage longer than 30 minutes this term?

YES67¢
NO33¢
Volume: 14,290 BB Preview only

Will the MP3 assessment recommendation become mandatory by 2027?

YES31¢
NO69¢
Volume: 22,110 BB Preview only

Will it rain during the CAS Cross Country?

YES64¢
NO36¢
Volume: 22,830 BB Preview only

Athletics Carnival house winner

House A 28%
House B 31%
House C 22%
House D 19%
Volume: 41,207 BB Preview only

Will the chapel organ break before the end of Term 3?

YES56¢
NO44¢
Volume: 6,230 BB Preview only

Will the Pacific Highway pedestrian crossing time be increased by Term 4?

YES23¢
NO77¢
Volume: 4,810 BB Preview only

Will the bell schedule include an "existential pause" by 2027?

YES12¢
NO88¢
Volume: 3,140 BB Preview only

How it'll work

  • Sign up with verified student status. One account per student. Not affiliated with the school.
  • Receive 1,000 Borker Bucks on signup. Daily login bonus of 50 BB. Bankrupt? Reset to 100.
  • Trade markets on school events — sports, carnivals, assemblies, anything resolvable.
  • BB cannot be purchased, traded, or redeemed for anything of real-world value. It is a leaderboard, not a wallet.
  • Resolution is handled by student moderators after each event concludes.

Not gambling. Not affiliated with the College. See the legal page.

DISCE · UT · LUCRERIS

Borker College

A student-run parody. We are not the school, we are the joke about the school.

Quick Links

Contact

  • support@barkercollege.org
  • No phone. No address. No regrets.
  • Take-down requests welcome and likely to be honoured if framed politely.

Legal

This site is a parody. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or representing Borker College.

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