Term 2 reminder: house ties are mandatory; house morale is optional. The chapel organ has been retuned. Someone left a banana on the keyboard. Pacific Highway pedestrian crossing reverts to normal operation after Tuesday's incident. Cadet bivouac relocated to Bowman Field pending Hornsby Shire clarification. Senior Study Hub kettle: operational. Senior Study Hub kettle queue: not. Westfield lunch-run permits revoked for Year 9 until further notice. Reminder: assessment submissions in MP3 format are now strongly recommended. iCentral confirms last Tuesday's Flexischools outage has been resolved. Mufti Day raised $4,217 for the Year 7 Pastoral Care Vending Machine. Reminder: e-scooters are not permitted in the chapel, even briefly. The First XV defeated themselves in a closed-doors trial. Coach "pleased". Boarders kindly requested to stop forming their own micro-economies. The kookaburra on the front lawn has been issued a Year 12 leadership badge. The plinth on the front lawn is the site of the seventh memorial. BREAKING: Year 9 cohort discovers Year 9 cohort. A reminder that the Avenue is for pedestrian use, not for trading futures. Celebration of Learning concluded at 8:47pm. The Headmaster has notes. Year 11 Avenue trading incident now under quiet review. iCentral reminds students: closing your laptop is not, on its own, a backup. Parking lots are for decoration only. Use will lead to collapse of infrastructure. The Borker Red Bin Association would like to remind students that the red bins around the school are strictly staff only. Any student use is grounds for expulsion. Canteen prices for the large special have risen by 70 cents in the past 3 years. Student Driving Code of Conduct now in effect. Permission forms available from Reception. See news for details. Term 2 reminder: house ties are mandatory; house morale is optional. The chapel organ has been retuned. Someone left a banana on the keyboard. Pacific Highway pedestrian crossing reverts to normal operation after Tuesday's incident. Cadet bivouac relocated to Bowman Field pending Hornsby Shire clarification. Senior Study Hub kettle: operational. Senior Study Hub kettle queue: not. Westfield lunch-run permits revoked for Year 9 until further notice. Reminder: assessment submissions in MP3 format are now strongly recommended. iCentral confirms last Tuesday's Flexischools outage has been resolved. Mufti Day raised $4,217 for the Year 7 Pastoral Care Vending Machine. Reminder: e-scooters are not permitted in the chapel, even briefly. The First XV defeated themselves in a closed-doors trial. Coach "pleased". Boarders kindly requested to stop forming their own micro-economies. The kookaburra on the front lawn has been issued a Year 12 leadership badge. The plinth on the front lawn is the site of the seventh memorial. BREAKING: Year 9 cohort discovers Year 9 cohort. A reminder that the Avenue is for pedestrian use, not for trading futures. Celebration of Learning concluded at 8:47pm. The Headmaster has notes. Year 11 Avenue trading incident now under quiet review. iCentral reminds students: closing your laptop is not, on its own, a backup. Parking lots are for decoration only. Use will lead to collapse of infrastructure. The Borker Red Bin Association would like to remind students that the red bins around the school are strictly staff only. Any student use is grounds for expulsion. Canteen prices for the large special have risen by 70 cents in the past 3 years. Student Driving Code of Conduct now in effect. Permission forms available from Reception. See news for details. Term 2 reminder: house ties are mandatory; house morale is optional. The chapel organ has been retuned. Someone left a banana on the keyboard. Pacific Highway pedestrian crossing reverts to normal operation after Tuesday's incident. Cadet bivouac relocated to Bowman Field pending Hornsby Shire clarification. Senior Study Hub kettle: operational. Senior Study Hub kettle queue: not. Westfield lunch-run permits revoked for Year 9 until further notice. Reminder: assessment submissions in MP3 format are now strongly recommended. iCentral confirms last Tuesday's Flexischools outage has been resolved. Mufti Day raised $4,217 for the Year 7 Pastoral Care Vending Machine. Reminder: e-scooters are not permitted in the chapel, even briefly. The First XV defeated themselves in a closed-doors trial. Coach "pleased". Boarders kindly requested to stop forming their own micro-economies. The kookaburra on the front lawn has been issued a Year 12 leadership badge. The plinth on the front lawn is the site of the seventh memorial. BREAKING: Year 9 cohort discovers Year 9 cohort. A reminder that the Avenue is for pedestrian use, not for trading futures. Celebration of Learning concluded at 8:47pm. The Headmaster has notes. Year 11 Avenue trading incident now under quiet review. iCentral reminds students: closing your laptop is not, on its own, a backup. Parking lots are for decoration only. Use will lead to collapse of infrastructure. The Borker Red Bin Association would like to remind students that the red bins around the school are strictly staff only. Any student use is grounds for expulsion. Canteen prices for the large special have risen by 70 cents in the past 3 years. Student Driving Code of Conduct now in effect. Permission forms available from Reception. See news for details.
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Notice

Parking Lots Declared "Decoration Only" Following Structural Assessment

Term 2, Week 3 · The Bulletin Desk


Following a structural assessment conducted over the mid-term break, the school has issued a clarification regarding the purpose and permitted use of on-campus parking facilities.

The assessment, conducted by external engineers at the request of the Facilities Department, concluded that the parking lots are "primarily decorative" and that regular vehicular use "may lead to collapse of infrastructure." The engineers' report, which runs to forty-seven pages, uses the word "aesthetic" no fewer than twelve times.

Students and staff are advised that parking is now permitted only in a ceremonial capacity. Vehicles may be positioned in parking bays for photographs, ceremonial arrivals, and what the Headmaster described in Monday's assembly as "contemplative adjacency to the school." Driving into or out of parking bays is not recommended.

The Pacific Highway gate remains operational for ceremonial purposes. Vehicles wishing to enter the grounds for aesthetic reasons may do so between 7:00am and 7:05am, at which point they must remain stationary until 3:30pm.

Parents have been asked to drop students at the Hornsby station instead, which the school notes is "structurally sound" and "actually designed for cars."


Filed under satire. See the legal page.

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